Remember Me

About once a year Stephen and I come up with a random holiday to celebrate. One year it was 'The Moon Landing' another year it was 'Arizona Day', celebrating the day we moved to Arizona. We have been known to celebrate 'The Ides of March' and we have also celebrated even more random days like 'Day of Rachel' and 'Feast of Stephen'. But if you would have told me, even one year ago, that I would have celebrated Dia de Los Muertos I would have fought you on it. I have an aversion to skeletons and skulls and all things spooky. But then something scarier than all of that happened. 

My mom died.

And fear felt a little bit different after that. And the days forward felt a little fuzzy. What does a future look like without a mother? With each next step I would find out. One day while talking with my brother he mentioned that he was going to make an ofrenda for her this year. Thankfully Coco is a family favorite so I was able to follow his line of thought. We talked about what that might look like and include. Peanut m&m's, Phantom of the Opera music, crocheted blankets that she made, and a few more. 

And so I embraced a new holiday. Skulls and skeletons and death didn't seem so scary anymore. In fact, something about it was now beautiful to me. Our family spent time thinking about loved ones who have passed away. We collected pictures and stories, planned a celebration, and prepared to honor each of them. It was a sacred experience.

I even indulged in a little face painting, skulls and Mexican food (three of my not so favorite things)

We played games that were staples from my childhood, pictionary and a sock mating relay. 

At the end of the evening we all gathered around the firepit for the part I'll remember forever. We asked each child or grandchild, one at a time, to get a candle and a picture from the ofrenda. They brought them over to the group and began to share the memories and the stories that they had searched out and learned about earlier that week. Laughter met tears and tears met inspiration. 

Courage, heartache, joy and life. It was all there!

And just as we were wrapping up an overwhelming gratitude settled over me. The power of the ofrenda became clear. It wasn't just in remembering a single loved one, but in the collective memories, that held the power. The ancestors collectively forged the path that we now walk upon. They weren't just Stephens or my ancestors. They were the ancestors of our children's spouses. And together, all of them, have had influence on each of us and especially these little people who were with us. Because of ALL of them we were there together enjoying that magical experience.

I will forever remember them!